cbatkins

So it’s that time of year again, I can’t believe how fast this last year flew by.  Time for me is marked by developmental milestones and specialist appointments so I don’t realize it’s over until I blink.  Resolution time yet again, a time when promises are made that are broken by Valentines Day. 
As most of you know I’m on a mission to lose an enormous amount of weight, the day I had Avey I weighed 246lbs which isn’t especially attractive on a 5′2 frame.  It’s not my heaviest but definitely my weakest.  I decided that I would lose the weight once and for all, but the weight didn’t start coming off until March of 2008 when we joined the ymca.  I lost 10lbs in a month and was doing awesome until I almost died of blood poisoning in April and had to have surgery.  I fell off the wagon and didn’t do anything else to lose the weight until I enrolled in college and didn’t want to be the fat old person amongst a bunch of hot little 18 year olds.  Over this last summer I got down to 200lbs which put me at a 46lb weight loss, that’s huge!  However, starting a new job and becoming a full time student on top of being a full time mommy to three, two of whom have special needs is a lot of stress and my progress has been delayed by four months and +9lbs. Just like every other person in America I am starting over again with a plan and my arsenal of weight loss weapons.  I’ve bought a fantastic lite cookbook that I have eaten out of breakfast, lunch and dinner since the 2nd when I bought it,  all of the food is low calorie and all of it is delicious.  I have 3 new workout dvds and have been doing them religiously since the 3rd.  I also have something I didn’t have before, a weight loss partner.  Dusty, my husband, has finally seen the light and is joining me on my journey to smaller clothes.  Losing weight on my own was lonely and I’m sure it was part of why I always failed before, now I have someone to keep me accountable for my actions.  We both have to change our lifestyles and the best way is to do it together.
I hate posting a new picture because it feels like failure, but I do take comfort in the fact that I only gained 9lbs back because it could have been much worse.  I caught myself before it became a freefall to fatness.  I have been battling with my weight since I was eight years old and have spent a lot of my life being chunky.  I had a brief time during highschool when I fought an eating disorder and that was the only time I was ever “skinny”.  I don’t want to be skinny this time I want to be in shape and smokin’ hot.  I am so tired of be ashamed to be in my own skin, I deserve more than that and I’m the only one who can change it.
My goal is to lose 2lbs a week for 27 weeks (6 months) which puts me at -54lbs by July 3 or 169lbs.  My huge ultimate goal is 125lbs by January of 2010 which would ba a total weight loss of 121 lbs from the 246lbs I started at in July of 2007.
Wish me good luck and feel free to send some support, inspiration, ideas or anything else uplifting

I had Taekwondo tonight and he worked us to heaps of sweat!  I feel good now but the whole time I was wishing for it to be over, it is 2 1/2 hours long afterall and my hours feel like jello! 

I have done my exercises everday since Sunday and that makes me feel very confident, I usually do a Workout A and Workout B and I alternate days with a day of rest.  I only do one set, I’m trying to build up.

Workout A- Squat with dumbells- 10-15rep, Dumbell tricep extentions- 12-20 rep, Bicycles crunches- 30-40 rep, Reverse crunches- 10-20 rep, Cardio Interval 1 min (jump rope, jog in place or jumping jacks), Pushups- to muscle failure, jumps (jumping in the air with arms outreached) 6-10 reps, Plank- 30sec.

Workout B- Angled lunges (leg goes at 11 o clock and 1 o clock) 6-10 rep per side, Bicep curl-010-15 rep, Bent over row- 10-15 rep, oblique crunches- 20-30 rep, Cardio interval 1 min, Wood chops with dumbell- 5-8 rep per side, single leg hops 5-8 rep per side, Downward dog knee ins 10-15 rep.

I have cut soda and am watching portion sides instead of calories right now.  One thing at a time. 

Well I’m exhausted so I’m getting off, have a good night everyone!

I ate so much yesterday that I still feel sick today, I knew I was overeating with every extra bite and yet I kept eating anyway almost to spite myself.  I’m not sure what was wrong with me yesterday but I have seriously gotten of track from where I was 3 months ago, the year is dwindling down and I am not even close to attaining my goal.  I am currently 201lbs and want to be 125 by July 20 of 2009 so if my calculations are right I need to drop 76 lbs total and 38lbs by Christmas.  It doesn’t seem like a much but if I keep sabotaging myself I am still going to overweight and unhealthy by next summer. 

My husband is also overweight and it would be alot easier if he was on board with me, it is so hard to eat right and exercise when my husband isn’t.  He is completely supportive of me and doesn’t intentionally temp me but I have a hard time eating a healthy breakfast when he is making a full country breakfast.  I have tried begging and bribing him to get healthy with me but hs is extremely stubborn.  I do have a good friend who is trying to lose weight also and that helps alot because we check up on each other but we live a fair little distance apart and it would be easier for me if we were closer.

I plan on starting over today and making better choices, I want to post in my blog what I am eating and how I am exercising and I think that will make it easier to be in check if I am displaying for the world to see my choices.  It is never to late to make a change in yourself, it is never too late to be a healthier persona and there is no reason why I shouldn’t feel beautiful all the time.  I saw some of the boddies on here listing thier reasons for losing weight and I decided to add some of my own.

1. I want to wear a bikini next year and look hot. 2. I want to be able to reach everything when I shave! 3. I don’t want my toddlers to reaslize I’m fat. 4. I want to look really cute the next time I’m pregnant and not just fat the whole time. 5. I want to be in single digit clothes. 6. I don’t want to get any weight related diseases. 7. I want to get checked out again. 8. I want to run a marathon someday. 9. I want my dimples, high cheek bones and chiseled chin back. 10. I want to feel proud of myself for accomplishing a huge goal!

Well wish me luck for starting over, I’m going to need it!

I started college the 25th of August after eight years of being out of school, the things that I was worried most about don’t even matter like being the oldest in my classes and the fear of not being able to keep up is also unfounded because I am doing great. The things that I didn’t even think of however are killing me, like besides my hour of daily exercising I pretty much sat around the house.  Now I am walking all over campus carrying a 50lb back pack sometime up 3 flight of stairs and I feel drained all the time.  Plus the schoolwork is surprisingly exhausting, I understand it but afterwards I feel like I have just ran a mile.  I also bravely choose Taekwondo for my athletic credit and I love it but I walk around with a sore body all the time, after the first lesson my husband had to help me lift my shirt over my head. 

My weight is staying at 201lbs which is great because I am actually down to a loose 16 instead of squeezing into a size 18, I get compliments all the time from my family and friends.  They are so proud of me and it makes me want to loose the weight even more, I actually got checked out the other day at school and that hasn’t happened since I was about 20 years old!  I have been walking in the evening but I am finding it hard  with the kids and school to fit any other exercise.  Plus if I’m not busy enough with a 1 year old, special needs twins, and school I am starting a part time job to help supplement our income.  How am I ever gonna add anything else in?  I am getting a treadmill in 2 weeks and I plan to get up when my husband goes to work and get on it, but my willpower isn’t that great and I am so afraid that it will become an ornament in our living room.

I originally set my weight loss deadline to a year (july 09)  to give me ample time to loose it but I didn’t know it was going to be so hard, I feel like the devil is testing me constantly.  I will do so good with resisting food temptations and then an inner voice will talk me into eating something anyway almost in spite of myself.  I pray A LOT!   I know that I have someone stronger on my side but I still have issues with food, I either eat way too much or not nearly enough.  Low carb, low calorie, sugar free, clean eating, ACK!  Will someone just figure it out and write a book so we can trash all these other “diets” ?  I know there are alot of big losers on here and it is so awesome to see those kind of numbers, is there any of you that figured out the eating thing for yourself?  If so drop me a line because I have a closet full of siz 14s that I would love to fit in by Christmas!  lol

I haven’t been on hear as much as I like and wanted to connect with my awesome buddies who have patiently sent me booster and who have given me amazing  encouragement.  I love you all and thank you so much for being there! 

Life is so hectic, I have not been doing very well in the last couple of weeks.  I bought a new dance video that I was so excited about and then got frustrated because I wasn’t losing any more weight and stopped doing anything.  Tomorrow I plan on  getting back on track and get back to losing this weight.  I’m sorry to all of my buddies for taking a break and ask that you all keep being as supportive as you have been.  Thank you and wish me good luck and lots of willpower.

I have been working out and eating right since the 17th of June, in the last two weeks I have been walking for 2 hours a day and doing a sculpting video for 45 minutes.  I eat 1500 calories and have cut sugar from my diet.  I keep my fat intake under 40g and my carbs around 170g.  I drink water like ther is no tomorrow.  I know that you have to burn more calories than you take in to loose weight but does your basal count?  Or do the only calories burned from exercise count ?   WIth all the exercise I do everyday I burn around 1064 calories, I’ve read some magazines and stuff online and I am working out about an hour longer than what most of the articles say to.  I feel really good after exerciseing and even feel like I could add more time but I am curious how to calculate how much exercise to do in order to burn enough calories.  If anyone knows about the basal calorie burn and exercise calorie burn please respond.

Thanks

All right so last Tuesday when I started this site I weighed 214, Wednesday I weighed 213 and Thursday I weighed 211.  Then on Friday low and behold what number do I see?  209 and I’m estatic, I am super careful over the weekend and work 10 times harder and longer in my workouts because I have the motivation I need to keep losing weight.  Monday comes around and the scale says 211….Hmmm, I think “Well, I did weigh after breakfast.”  So I still kick butt and eating is no longer an issue because I haven’t had any real temptation and I’ve been so busy that I have time for meals but no snacks which is actually working for me now.  I have completely kicked soda now in favor of water and Unsweet tea which I love now.  Tuesday 211, Wednesday 211, Thursday 211, ACK!!!!  This morning while I’m doing my weigh in ritual I standing on the scale butt naked and it says 209…Then I realize that I am holding on to the doorframe.  I weigh again and it says 211…sigh.  So I am super disappointed but I know that it doesn’t matter because I kicked butt this week, I never do well past the first week of a diest and I did better this week than I did last week.  So yes I weigh more than I thought and yes I am going to have to tell my husband that I’m a nerd and can’t weigh myself but I gave myself awesome motivation and drive to get me through week two and I am challenging myself physically  in a way that I have never done even when I was skinny.  I just wanted to let everyone know that my ticker my have gone up but I haven’t fallen off the proverbial wagon I just am a busy Momma  and probably need to weigh in once a week instead of everyday.

I found a neat site called weightview.com, you upload your picture and in 48 hours or less you get it back in your e-mail digitally altered to look up to 50lbs lighter.  Some people need a visual picture to look forward to, and  I know it helped me get my butt in gear and do something about the way I look.  BTW it’s free!

Hope it helps someone.

So I got up this morning thinking that everything would be fine, I was even a little excited because my mom was coming to pick up the kids for the night and it would just be me and m husband which doesn’thappen very often.  I got the boys up and sent off to school, got my daughter around and dropped my husband off went through the bank and guess what?  My car runs out of gas… in the driveway..sseconds after they hand me my money….sigh.  I don’t have a gas tank in the car so I pick up my daughter and walk to a gas station where they only have a one gallon tank, buy one gallon of gas and carry my chunky 11 month old back down to the bank.  By this time my heels are bleeding from walking in wrong shoes, I get back to the car, strap my kid in and empty the one gallon of gas in the tank and go to start the car and nothing.  For some reason my battery is dead, I have to wait half an hour for my father in law to come up and jump the car which makes it half way home and then dies on the side of the highway. so I get my daughter out of the car and in his, run back for my bags and roll my ankle and take a tumble, cuttig open my knee as I lay bleeding on the side of the highway. My father in law thinks it I ran out of gas again so we run back to my house for a 5 gallon tank, fill it up put it in the car and nothing.  We jump the car and it is running fine so I go to take off and it dies a few feet from were I was.  so we run the battery up to walmart ( which by the way the battery is only 4 days old) the say that it is dead but it is probably my car doing it and I’m thinking ” Great, an alternator.  That’ll be cheap”  I go home get my boys off the bus and my father in law runs up to walmart to find out what is going on, a few minutes later.  The verdict?  The brand new battery was a dud…… so now everything is fine except for maybe my bleeding flesh wounds ;)  I didn’t have a very good morning but I did get some extra walking in and some strength training from lugging the toddler around so I guess all in all everything worked out, kinda.

I was so nervous about walking today, the last two days I had my sister with me so I had someone to talk to and she went home yesterday.  I knew I had to walk and hate working out by myself, but I got my daughter in her stroller and headed out the door.  I loved walking!  I realized, Hey I can do this.  I had my MP3 player and a good walking track and my daughter loved being outside.  I have never felt this confident about getting into shape before, I always go in to it thinking that my only option is failure and I know inside of myself that I have the power and ability to finally shed this weight. I have given myself a realistic time to do it in and I’m doing it healthy.  I just need to get my husband in on it too and everything will be perfect!

Exercise Log